Welcome to this mental health reflection told in the framework of Haiku.
"You speak words to me…
I make me angry with them…
What a mind we have"
If you pause to reflect with an honest lens, in the normal day to day encounters of our lives and our relationships this is what happens.
Setting aside instances of deliberate gaslighting and manipulation which certainly exist, it is important to understand that our emotions are created in our minds by the thought associations we attach to the environment we are in.
Other people don't make us angry. We witness circumstances from which our mind constructs an interpretation based on historical patterns, from which thoughts arise and emotions ensue.
This isn't to say our mental interpretation is always wrong, but it certainly isn't always right. This is especially true within the context of our communication with others, and rarely more so than in the interactions with our families which contain the deepest volume of historical unconscious content.
A significant amount of our communication is unconscious, what we express to others and what they express to us is often outside the bandwidth of our limited conscious mind but that doesn't mean it isn't creating the model through which we are interpreting everything. Furthermore, unconscious layers of memory are also shaping our interpretation of the moment.
If you want to improve a relationship spend more time watching your thoughts and emotions in response to the circumstances around you and see what you notice.
You might just be able to transform a stagnant and unhelpful relationship pattern.
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